Beaten at the Oscars by ex wife Kathryn Bigelow’s Hurt Locker; James Cameron has completely lost it!

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Bigelow’s Hurt Locker success traumatized legendary James Cameron, who is all set to take revenge by conquering the next Oscars with the re-release of his legacy – ‘AVATAR’. The new version is said to contain an extra nine minutes, including a racy uncut pre-marital alien tentacle sex. (Phew!). Tamil actress Khushboo, who recently won a long and tough legal battle for her comments on pre-marital sex, was thrilled to endorse the movie on request of Mr. Cameroon.

Cameron’s actual script was briefly posted online and featured some breathless descriptions of the scene! “

,” read the narrative (in Navi). For all those who are yet to master the language, here’s the depiction :

The tendrils intertwine with gentle undulations. Jake rocks with the direct contact between his nervous system and hers. The ultimate intimacy,” read the narrative (in English).

Cameron is fervently hoping that the Oscar jury will get overwhelmed seeing the blue creatures make out in 3D. And if that’s not enough to ensure a seat at the Oscars, the director/producer is remaking ‘TITANIC’ in 4D. Cameron is experimenting with this novel concept that will give the audience a never-before-felt experience; especially when one gets a feel of the celebrity sputum hitting one’s face, throughout the ‘who-can-spit-the-longest’ competition between Jack & Rose.

P.S. Chinese, Japanese, Malayalam & Slovenian translations are also available!
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Nehru’s ‘Tryst with Destiny’ decoded after 63 long years!

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Indian Independence Day Special Edition
(4 days late; thereby demonstrating the Indian-ness)

Expert cryptologists led by Dr. DaVinci of Old Monk Buddies Research Centre, have managed to decipher the famous I-Day speech by Jawaharlal Nehru, said to contain several hidden messages to Lady Edwina Mountbatten, including the usage of the term India in reference to Nehru himself. Thus the inspirational speech with subliminal pointers, “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom”, secretly meant to set up a hush-hush date between the two for a ‘coochie-coo’ session, has been gravely mistaken as one arising out of Nehru’s overwhelming pride for the nation. After interpreting its true meaning, one can’t stop but fathom whether his long suppressed soul (Ref: The Ugly Truth (Movie)), found the much awaited utterance…

MERCENARIES reloaded – On A Maoist Hunt

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In a final, desperate effort to tackle the growing Maoist terror in the country, PM invited all the mercenaries (including those who died in Part 1 Expendables), to India, in hope of restoring peace. “The disastrous movie getting bombed at the box Office aided GoM in arriving at the unanimous decision”, said hon’ble Home Minister P. Chidambaram. As in Part 1, Arnold and Bruce Willis too agreed to play a crucial ‘blink-and-you’ll-miss cameo’ during the hunt!

Terrorism Process Outsourcing – TPO’s

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Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na

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What Scared Usain Bolt Out Of CWG ?

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The GODS must be CRAZY !!

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